I’m sitting at the airport, en route to Houston and then on to Argentina. All for work.
Last week, I had an amazing experience. At the beginning of the week I was feeling really glum, about being alone, and all that old stuff. But then I took the Thursday, and went entirely offline – off the phone, off the web. I spent the entire day at the same cottage where Drew and I had been the weekend before, and worked on a single document that I’ll need in Argentina next week. The remarkable thing was that I was completely calm and concentrated, working away at that one task, with remarkable focus and ease. I had spent the longest time convinced that I had completely lost my ability to concentrate. In the past years, it had seemed impossible to even concentrate for longer than 5 minutes at a time, always distracted by the web, Twitter, E-Mails, phonecall, whatnot. And here, I proved to myself that I was still very much capable of staying inside my own head for a while, and to make use of that. It was quite the experience. I decided that I will absolutely have this at least every other week from now on, and I can’t wait to go back to the cottage again and spend more time there. It’s really making me happy to be there.
And that has quite a few repercussions. It allows me to see my parents more often, too. And that is also a good thing. Part of my sadness around the fact that I don’t have a family has to do with my parents, and that I cannot allow them to have grandchildren. Well, maybe a good second best is to give them more opportunities for them to see me! On Thursday evening, I joined my father and an old friend of his as they were having their weekly “guys’ dinner”, and everyone enjoyed that, I think. Thirdly, I have been trying to organise it so that I can actually own an electric car, and not finding a garage is a major roadblock. If I have the car to travel to and from the cottage, that could be a solution, too. I test drove a Tesla again last week, and it was so much fun. Finally, towards the end of last week, I heard from Maria again, and I might be seeing her in Argentina next week after all.
So the week ends in a much more positive spirit than it began. Last night was fun too, I spend the evening with Steve and Ursula, where I also stayed the night. Easier to get to the airport from their place today. I am just a little scared of my flights now. I always am, and this time, it’s two ten-hour flights back to back … Let’s hope it all goes smoothly.