Roller Coaster.

I just had the most wonderful weekend with B. It was so nice, we spent all weekend from Saturday morning until just now, Sunday night. Today, we had the longest and most relaxed and enjoyable breakfast. She makes me really really happy. Yesterday, I realised with her that I would like to buy a house in a part of town not far from here. (Friends of M bought one there some two years ago, and at the time I thought that was a bit weird, and now all of a sudden I am thinking I’d like one, too.) We went shopping together, and to a spa, and we hung out at my place, and it was all so very very wonderful.

And that’s despite the fact that we still had to resolve some issues … Once more, there was a bit of a bang right after Easter Weekend, at the beginning of the week. On Monday evening, she came over after returning from her family thing. We had dinner, and a long conversation about her family – it was all so very warm and gentle and intimate that at night I felt encouraged and tried to bring up the subject of sex. We didn’t talk for long, and it somehow went nowhere, so the next morning I was somewhat frustrated about it, left the bed a little early, and went to have a shower. The thing is, B can sense any slightest change in attitude or in behaviour, she has the most sensitive antennae, it’s completely crazy. So she called me on it. It turned into a heated three hour argument about “the pressure that I am putting on her”, and it was really difficult, and quite unpleasant at times. Finally, when I’d driven her to work, we spent another half hour talking in the car there, and there we finally got closer again, I managed to explain to her that it was also about my insecurities, and that I felt I should be able to share them, and it seemed we brought things back on the right track. But the whole thing was still working in her mind during the week, and I could tell that she was somehow on edge when I got to her place yesterday morning. She was annoyed with me almost the minute I got there. So again we started talking, and this time I thought for a moment that we’d end up in a place where she would tell me that she might need to be by herself. But we just kept on talking, and really explaining things to each other, and it all ended up being really good and warm and sweet, and it all turned into one of the best weekends, or maybe the best weekend we ever had together. (And as I am writing this, I cannot complain about sex, either …)

What else? On Wednesday and Thursday, I was in Frankfurt again, pushing this project along that will most likely help us go global with our company, for this one key client that we have. Equally, I spent a fair amount of time thinking about our company. And about how we need to change the way we work, how we need to rework the way our company is managed, and how I may need to play a different role with that. The coming week will be very interesting, I am quite curious how things will turn out …

My father’s project seemed to get back into a positive mode, but this weekend when I spoke to him, things appeared to have gotten back to their bad ways. And now he seems to try to find a way to get out of it. I am just keeping my fingers crossed that he finds a way that makes him happy.

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About The Outer Rim

I am trying to remember my life. By posting about it. Starting January first 2011.
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