I’m in a bit of a hurry. I am sitting at the Frankfurt Airport, soon to board a plane to Buenos Aires. I am going to work with our colleagues there for a week again. A fairly strange week is behind me. I returned from my one week Cuba trip where I had joined B for a part of her vacation last weekend, and now I had to deal with my week here on my own, while she stayed on and went on another trip with two friends of hers. It was strange because our trip had been so-so. 95% of the time we really got along great, the chemistry between us worked, and we really worked well as travel companions. Also, I was very much in love with her on this trip. I think she is amazing. But the 5% were really weird, we had an argument about once a day, the type of argument that always ended in 2-hour-long discussion, after which we felt we had resolved it, and then a similar (yet different …) argument would come up the next day. It’s difficult to explain, and at some point towards the end of the trip (on the last morning together), we ended up agreeing that I needed to do some thinking about how I want to be in a relationship. Some of it has to do with my being a little strange in relationships, I think. For lack of experience, and a certain sense of insecurity. Some has to do with her being fairly difficult in some ways. By the evening, when she took me to the Havana airport, we were back to our best ways together again, being really intimate and gentle and sweet with each other at the aiport, before saying good-bye. The good-bye really was so warm and tender and loving that I really did not want to go.
But after that, I spent some time thinking about it all, figuring a few things out for myself, but also worrying about what this time apart may have done to her feelings. Particularly because the connection via text messages was fairly infrequent. And now I’m flying to Buenos Aires, while she is returning one day later from Havana back to Berlin. So silly to travel into opposite directions across the Atlantic now.
The week, other than that, was okay. I am in weird state, rethinking my professional life, while still fully involved in my job. Also, my digestion has been out of whack for quite some time now, which is annoying. I also had a short business trip to Budapest on Wednesday and Thursday, and my parents came to visit on the weekend. on Friday night I went to one of those French chanson concerts with my mother again, to see that singer from Lille whom she likes so much. My father joined on Saturday afternoon, we had dinner together, and then they drove off to the city of Brandenburg, for their Pentecost weekend. And now I am here at the airport in Frankfurt, hoping that I’ll somehow get through that 14+ hours night flight to Argentina.