In Rome just by the Colosseum.

That is where N and I sat on a park bench last Friday, for hours (at least it seems like that), and were getting closer and closer, and she so wanted it, but when I finally tried to kiss her she withdrew … and then moments later, she took my face into her hands, and kissed me, and then immediately stopped herself again, and then I kissed her, and we were kissing for a few seconds, and just as I began to taste her lips and her tounge, she interrupted it again, and started talking about decisions she had made in her life, and that she had to stick to them, and that she didn’t believe that there was this one person one had to be with, but that it was about finding someone right, and then making it work, and that she was intending to do that with the person she is with, and that that person basically means her everyday life here, but yet somehow she just cannot resist me. And on the way back from Rome, she was twisting and turning in her seat next to me, and just clearly so confused and helpless, and at the same time so into me. And me? I am in love like I haven’t been in a very very very long time … Maybe in a way that I have never been. I don’t want to be without this person anymore. Ever again …

I could go on, for hours, about how it was, and how it is, and how this last week has been, but essentially it’s this roller coaster ride, and I’m on it, and there is nothing I can do, I just hope it won’t throw me off, but let me exit in a beautiful place, and I hope that she’ll be there with me, at the end of the ride.


About The Outer Rim

I am trying to remember my life. By posting about it. Starting January first 2011.
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