In these past two weeks, I have left Italy in pain (including a drive across the Alps under the moonlight), and have been in pain eversince. Trying to forget the unforgettable. Until Monday last week, when Drew told me that he fought and suffered for four months, to get his current girl-friend out of her 7-year-relationship, and that a woman will not leave something good and secure and safe because of a four-week flirt.
And so I thought, all of a sudden, “oh my God! Have I broken something that was not yet broken?! Have I thought N evil and mean, when she is just ‘normal'”? And so I started going back to her. Apologizing. Trying to go back to the way things were … From a distance. They were intense! According to Drew, that means something important is going on! Something that must not yet be thrown away.
Last night, I saw my old friend Cay. I told him everything. Then he told me that he had to win his wife over and out of another relationship (back then, at the time) over the period of a year!
I had meetings in Italy again with the team on Thursday night and on Friday. She was there, of course. I am obsessed. I don’t know how she is feeling. Some things between us felt great. Others don’t.
Everything is aching. My soul. My heart. My brain. My body.