I spent six hours with N last Saturday. And it was wonderful.
It’s strange: on Wednesday evening, she still refused to have an after work drink with me, saying that it was “just not possible”. On Thursday, we found ourselves leaving the office at the same time, and downstairs in front of the building she said all of a sudden “oh what the hell, let’s have a quick aperitivo”. And so we spent a delightful hour before she had to leave and meet a friend. On Saturday, I was meeting with with another colleague who knew someone in the area with an apartment to rent, which might be right for me (it wasn’t). N was orginally planning to come and join us and have a coffee afterwards, but then she said she couldn’t make it, but she asked me if I wanted to meet her and a friend of hers, to go to a food fair at the castel. So we did, and instead of going to the food fair, we all just hung out in the park, and later had ice cream, and then her friend had to leave, so I walked N across town back to her train station, but then we stopped to have an aperitivo again, and it was warm, and we sat in the street with our Spritz for much longer than she had planned, so that she finally took the last train that there was, at 9:40 PM. And I got to spend hours looking at these bright shining eyes, and enjoying her sense of humour, and the conversation, and having her teach me Italian, and … it was just so wonderful.
I am not sure why she’s suddenly given up on the distance that she wanted to keep, I don’t know what it means. But it’s just the best thing in my life to spend time with her. And I am determined to not let that make life difficult again. I am here now for the long haul, I have time, I am in no rush, and I am determined to get as much of this beautiful time from her that I can. And then we’ll see what might happen. In three months, or in ten.
Other than that, I spent almost the entire past week here in the city, only on Monday I was not here, I was at an appointment in Frankfurt. Wednesday was Labour Day, but I didn’t do anything special, I also spent some time at the office for work. On Thursday, a colleague who had been causing difficulty and took a one month leave came back to the office, and we did some office rearranging then, which was interesting.
The past weekend, Caren was here for a visit. I thought I might get some sensual distraction out of her visit, but it turned out that she’s involved with someone again, so that didn’t happen, and the weekend was fairly awkward again, with her I always get to the point where I simply don’t know what to speak about, and where I swear to myself that these visits are pointless. But I got some city tourism out of it, and learned a few things about the city, which will certainly be useful.
The week before that one was another traveling week: on Tuesday night I took the plane to Berlin, and spent some time on Wednesday to gather some more of my stuff, and pack it in my car. On Wednesday night I drove down to our headquarters, where we had a two day workshop that I was running with my previous team. The two days were also marked by lots of conversations about how we would need to change things in our organisation, now that I am in Italy. And on Friday evening I picked up Caren and we drove to Italy together, to spend the weekend.
Now it’s Monday morning again, I’ll now close this computer and go to the office, where N will sit all day, facing me on the other side of our two desks. And it shall be like that for the entire week.