I sat down with Ursula and Steve for dinner tonight, after long day of dealing with my past, in the form of all this stuff in my apartment that I am cleaning up and cleaning out. They tend to be a bit on the depressive side as well, so I was not sure how fun an evening this might end up being. But then we really ended on a high note — reminding ourselves that these pasts that we can look back at were really worthwhile, and that there may be good reasons for why we are where we are today.

I came up with this thought again, a thought that I need to think more often — that it is only right and just that I didn’t meet a person I would marry when I was 26, because it would have never worked. And that now, after I having been able to take care of quite some stuff professionally, and finally having an idea who I am and what I want from life and from a relationship, I am only now beginning to be ready for this anyway. So there is absolutely no reason to cry over things that haven’t happened yet. Because I’d probably be dealing with a failed family, and with shattered dreams, and sadness, and ties that hold me down. Things I don’t have and should be happy about.

I need to hold this thought, and keep it, and nourish it, and make it live within me, because it can make me happy. How good to have friends.


About The Outer Rim

I am trying to remember my life. By posting about it. Starting January first 2011.
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