The summer itself is already here, of course. But then there is the Italian summer, which means that during the upcoming month of August larger cities are completely void of any humans … well, the few remaining ones more stumble through the streets like lonely zombies. I’ll be a zombie like that until about the middle of the month, and then I, too, will go on holiday (to Sicily).
This weekend already gave me a bit of a taste of that. Today was a fairly lonely day, not helped by the fact that I woke up in the night and suddenly started thinking thoughts about N again, which haven’t really left me all day. The past week went kind of okay, after meeting with Drew and his girl-friend, I found a new way of dealing with the situation in the office, and also some form of inner peace, apparently coming to terms with the situation, and slowly starting to move on. Despite the fact that we see each other at work every day, of course. (And it might all just be an illusion of “moving on” when in fact the lingering memory of Drew’s girl-friend saying “it sounds like in a Hollywood film where the girl is stuck in a relationship and then the guy comes who really understands her” just comforts me and makes me think that things will ultimately turn out the way I wish … whatever.)
Yesterday I went with a colleague to the place where she keeps her horse. I just spent the afternoon hanging around with hardly anything to do – while she was preparing to ride, riding, and then doing the “after the riding things” that you do. But somehow that did not really bother me. We had dinner in the evening, and I was home at about ten.
Also, I watch between 2 and 7 episodes of “The Big Bang Theory” every day. It’s a little expensive. But it calms my mind, at least for as long as it’s on. Also, it’s somewhat comforting to learn that Chuck Lorre also has (had?) relationship troubles. I can glean that much from his vanity cards. And from his show.
I hope I’ll make it through the summer. I won’t see N for a whole month. And I hope that will be a good thing.