My birthday last weekend was okay. In the morning, I celebrated with my parents. They gave me a couple of things that I couldn’t quite relate to, and I am afraid now that I may have not been grateful and happy enough. I went over to Berlin around lunch time, and then we had a little party at Ursula and Steve’s. On Monday I went to Munich with Steve, we did a workshop on Tuesday morning together. I got angry in the afternoon in a conversation with a colleague, in a way that sometimes happens to me. I shouldn’t grt angry like that. And then I feel bad afterwards. And I apologized fifteen times.
That evening I went back to Italy. And spent the rest of the week with a much smaller team, half of the team is on holiday. So is N. And that allowed me to start finding some peace. I am not a happy man, as it were. But I am beginning to see new perspectives, and finding new ideas, and starting to think about how I can construct a life here, that has absolutely nothing to do with N. And as a consequence, I think less about her … Sometimes not at all anymore. And that is really good.
And then there was Wednesday night. I went to a suburb and met with a guy who had found me on a musicians’ site. I didn’t know whom to expect, or what to expect. And I found a 60-something year old, drinking whiskey, smoking a cigar, and we spent a delightful evening discussing songs, and Tom Waits, and J.J. Cale (RIP), and all kinds of stuff, and we jammed, and we started making music – all that in his music basement. This was the kind of thing that you cannot plan for, that you cannot expect, but that makes life richer. Great evening.
This weekend was very lonely, yesterday I bummed around the entire day at home. Now I am off to a picnic. And then I’ll drive to Munich this evening.