I haven’t written since the first half of August, for a whole month. Mainly because during my Sicilian holiday, I kept a paper-based journal. So whatever happened on that trip is in there. The key thing is that the whole trip helped me rebalance and replan my life, and develop lots of ideas that would keep me happy on my own.
Since I’ve come back, I’ve tried to focus on building up my social life here in Italy, and I’ve had some success doing it. My music projects are moving along, I researched an art school where I want to take drawing lessons, my Italian is improving, I am finding friends, and — most importantly — the month of distance from N has helped me to finally get over her. I still see her every day at work, and that is difficult sometimes because I still find her extremely attractive. But I don’t think about her most of my waking hours anymore, like I have done for such a long time. I am more courageous now, and looking ahead, and finding pleasure in things that I can do, or look forward to. Sometimes I may have a little relapse, like last weekend, when I went to the Austrian Alps, to go hiking with my father. I spent some time imagining things with her again, and thinking that I still have a shot. But then I come back to the office, and see her, and remember, and realize how poisenous these thoughts are, and that nothing gets her away from that complete life of hers, that she seems to have built for herself, and I move on. Yes, I think I am slowly starting to move on. And that is a good thing.
Yesterday I went diving with a friend I met in Sicily, we went to San Margherita, and I really had fun. I went to Spain last week, for meeting with colleagues there, and to Belgium in early September, also for meetings. Work is demanding, and sometimes stressful, but I think things are going okay.
Today I inaugurated a blender that I have bought, and that is supposed to help me have better breakfasts. My first smoothie was not bad at all!
Oh, and Germany had general elections today. Let’s not talk about the results.