Yesterday, I walked through Florence, listening to my music. At some point I found a spot on a bench in a park, sat down and realized that I was happy. By myself. For the first time in a long time, I was not desparate because I was alone, but I was happy about the way my life is right now, without sadness and loneliness. For the longest time, I’ve only known this feeling when I saw someone else on the horizon, someone I was flirting with, someone who might “heal” me from my loneliness. But right now, I am good. After all the pain earlier this year surrounding N, and the suffering, it’s just wonderful to be well. I hope it’s going to last.
On Friday, I’d gone to the Comic’s Festival in Lucca with a group of people from that drawing/arts school. The festival was too crowded for me, though, it stressed me, so I decided to leave again on Saturday morning, drove to Florence, had a walk around the city, and then returned to Milan.
But the comic exposition did help me understand a bit more about my own creative potential, and about everything that I can do with that, and I think that also helped me feel happy, and see way ahead.
I signed a rental contract for a more permanent home here! For a place that I really like. I am quite happy about that — this idea that I’ll actually have a home here, with my own furniture and my things really does help to feel like my life is moving in the right direction. Until the end of the year, I’ll be busy organizing all of the moving and some of the administrative stuff connected with my move, and then I’ll be able to start into the new year with everything organized and ready to go. That’ll be good.
This afternoon, I have a flight to Istanbul. For work, and just for the day Monday, I am returning on Monday night.