Nerves.

I’m really going to have to work hard on my drawing skills. I had a free afternoon yesterday and decided to spend some more time drawing. And I realized that I’ll really have a long way to travel until I’ll be able to do anything meaningful with my drawing. I’m sometimes arrogantly thinking that I could do many things, and easily. And it turns out that no, actually not (anymore). It’ll be difficult to try and be an artist next year. Really difficult. But I guess that is what I’ll be signing up for. I’ll have to work really hard on my skills.

I’ve had a strange week. On Thursday last week, I came home from a really exhausting trip. It was right after my holidays, right after that peaceful break I wrote about last time: I had to travel to Italy (by car, with two colleagues), where we had a big event on Tuesday morning — which actually went really well. But it was stressful. It was our first really important marketing event, and invested a lot of money in it, but it really went very well, and I think it did help the team with motivation and new contacts. On that same day in the afternoon, I had to fly on to Frankfurt, where we had two fairly important meetings on Wedneday. On Wednesday night, I flew to Prague, where I had to give a speech on Thursday. That evening, I flew back. And when I came back home to Nana’s place, that evening, my body was hurting me. My left leg was aching, and my left shoulder felt like I was sunburnt on it – except that there was nothing to see, and I wasn’t sunburnt, of course. On Friday, I went to work, and even though the pain was still there, I kind of did okay. But then on the weekend, the pain got really bad, I had to take painkillers to sleep, or to make it through the day, so on Sunday we went to a hospital. The doctor on call there  checked superficially, said she couldn’t really see anything, and the told me to go to a doctor on Monday who could also do blood analysis. So I did that on Monday morning, one of my colleagues recommended his doctor, and I drove over there. It was good to go there, he took his time with me, and he gave me pills that really helped. I went to work after that, and then returned there the next day, to hear what the blood analysis was revealing. Nothing, really, my blood data was perfect, no problem at all.

The doctor recommended I keep taking these pills, and maybe go to a neurologist. And I started thinking that my job is beginning to literally get on my nerves … On Friday, I had a chat with a colleague about our situation in Italy, and he told me that he felt we were not doing so badly with the Italian team, and that sentence alone, and the fact that he had some numbers to back that up, really helped me. I think the biggest problem I have is that this year, for the first time, I have to be running after the forecasts that we created ourselves, without really knowing how to do it. It really doesn’t work for me, it really does bother me to constantly have to think in monetary terms. I can solve problems, I can do stuff, I can move things forward, but I am just sick of running after numbers all the time.

On the weekend now, Nana and I are also getting on each other’s nerves a little … I think we need a bit of time away from each other. Being stuck together in that little apartment is just not very healthy, in the long run.

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About The Outer Rim

I am trying to remember my life. By posting about it. Starting January first 2011.
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