It’s Done.

On Monday of this week, I had my last day of work, at the company that I helped build.

A week prior, my last client meeting as an employee.

There was a farewell party with the team in Italy.

But overall, it’s been small and quiet, my exit. Not much ado. Because in the summer I’ll be back on a freelance basis, to help onboard my successor, Susanna. She ended up being the choice – we didn’t really have anyone else, but she turned out to be incredibly motivated, and I think she can do a good job.

Health wise, I was not doing well the past weeks. More health scares. The more times passes, the more I realize that psychologically, all of this was just really heavy. In the last days on the job, I tried to set some wheels in motion in order to finally effectuate a change in management that our company badly needs. Part of my frustration and pain in the past weeks and months stemmed from the fact that the company is not on a good path. We have people in management who got to where they are for a number of reasons, and who now exhibit in a strikingly powerful fashion the full effect of the Peter principle. It’s actually startling to realize the extent to which this is happening.

I am fairly determined to try and work things behind the scenes, to make a change happen. And if behind the scenes does not work, I will create a scene at the next shareholders’ meeting. I see no other choice, to protect the people I care about in the company. The deserve a capable management team. Which they currently do not have.

Now I’m off. The past days, I have spent with a lot of administrative stuff still on my plate. By the weekend, I will finally have everything so much taken care of that I can finally relax and really start doing nothing.

Last night, Nana and I went to see “Spotlight”. The film really touched me, I think I dreamt about it at night. And I am grateful that this story is being taken to so many more people now that they won the Oscar.

With Nana, things are mixed. Sometimes I don’t know what I would do without her, she is so sweet and so wonderful. And sometimes it’s just really hard, and I think that ultimately, we don’t fit together very well. This morning right after waking up, she said something quite remarkable: “I am like a child. Why am I still like a child? That’s also why I cannot imagine having children, because I myself am still the child.” I think that does describe fairly accurately what I sometimes struggle with in the relationship. But her saying it flatly like that is yet another expression of her intelligence and perception. Who would have that kind of insight about oneself?

Today I tried to charge my car in the garage next door, where I’ve done it already for a couple of times. The charging stations there … I am not quite sure how to actually describe it. They are completely capricious. You’re supposed to operate them with the ticket that you receive upon entering the garage. But they open only sometimes, and never the way that I can use them. Today I made two attempts, I felt like I was being filmed by a candid camera, it was so ridiculous, and then I left the garage again. I need to find another way. This weekend, I’ll steal electricity from the garage where we live. Which doesn’t feel good … But it’ll have to do, until I find another possibility.

A couple weeks ago, upon returning from my last business trip to Geneva, I flew to Frankfurt and then travelled a little further north to Kassel, to suprise my mother for her 80th birthday. Yes, my mother turned 80 a few days ago. And she’s doing really well!


About The Outer Rim

I am trying to remember my life. By posting about it. Starting January first 2011.
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